Successful Behaviors

11102012

To be successful, behave as such, and steer clear of the baddies.

You can bang your head against the wall for decades and  possibly arrive at some level of accomplishment, or not, all beat up, depleted, demoralized, and mostly feeling quite joyless, OR, how about behaving successfully now.  This particular installment of tips concentrates on people. Who should you have on your personal board?

1. SURROUND yourself with positive, confident, creative, active, initiators.  You will spot them because they are happy, productive and healthy. They look for the best in others, they walk the talk, and they are genuinely generous when it comes to your success.

2. Follow up with these folks OFTEN, and find out which one or two will MENTOR you.  More than one is great — they have different areas of expertise. It might not be any sort of official relationship, as the types mentioned above mentor people naturally all the time. It is part of who they are. You just have to make sure you get your tuchas in front of them regularly (do not expect them to check up on you).

3. Once you start surrounding yourself with these people who are great for you, then what?  Do what they do, and do what they suggest. If it does not work for you, great, then modify it so it does. But utilize the ideas and suggestions and the MODELING that these successful, fulfilled, productive folks provide.  School cost what, $60K to  $150K?  Therapy or coaching costs $175 to $300 an hour. This is FREE. Use this opportunity, stay connected to them, and keep adding people to your personal board.

4. Then, OBSERVE their deeper characteristics. What you will find:  they are not only successful, and behave as such, but they are grateful, generous problem-solvers, who have an appreciative perspective, and conduct themselves in their relationships with clean boundaries, showing up with integrity, consistently supportive, demonstrating a passion both for what they do and in what others are doing.  These are not the by-products of success. These are the ingredients.

5. Limit your exposure to inauthentic, kvetchy folks, who blame others, act victimized, manipulate, and make excuses. They are TOXIC and will hold you back. Spot them as help-refusing complainers, bonding through gossip, attempting to draw pity, widely broadcasting their problems, pouring gas on fires, rejoicing in others’ misery, and they have messy, sticky boundaries. They leave you feeling de-skilled, slimed, confused, threatened, tired, or disoriented. I’m getting tired just writing about them. BEWARE: some toxic folks already hold positions of power.

6. You thought this was going to be a neat set of “5″?  HAVE FUN! You will know when you have surrounded yourself with the goodies and decreased the baddies when you are having more fun. You will feel energized, inspired, hopeful, and very soon more confident, fulfilled and deeply satisfied. Good stuff is yours for the taking, and then later, when you are walking the talk, you will start to notice folks approaching you to be on their personal boards.  Enjoy!